Bad Habits Ruin Your Marriage
“Sow a thought, and you reap an act;Sow an act, and you reap a habit; Sow a habit, and you reap a character; Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.” Samuel Smiles
We are all one bad decision away from ruining our lives.
How's that for a pleasant thought?
We could drink and drive, take drugs, text while driving, invest in a ponzi scheme, leave a candle burning - a poor choice at the wrong time and our lives could be forever changed.
But most of us won't do that.
On any given day, most of us safely steer our lives between guardrails, avoiding the major cliffs and disastrous decisions. But that doesn't mean we're healthy.
In fact, most regrets in life don't start with major decisions, but with minor ones. We tell the little lie, flirt a little too much, hold a grudge a little too long. Our lives are shaped by the habits we make in the small stuff.
How well do we...
eat?drink? treat our family?use our resources?invest in friendships?
When we cut corners, lack discipline and generally allow sloppy habits to become our norm, we put ourselves on a miserable path. Bad habits destroy - maybe not today, but they do. English writer Samuel Johnson said it most eloquently, "The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”
This is particularly true in a marriage, when the person who knows you best has an up-close, unfiltered view of you at your worst.
So what are these habits?
Any list I make will be different from yours. You are the best person to identify the form your bad habits take. But, just to get you thinking, here are a few which we need to beat back in our marriages:
Not having one-on-one time
Tone of voice
Silence
Passive-aggressiveness
Independence
Lack of play
Lack of respect
Judging
Think about where you need a fresh start in your relationship. Talk to your spouse about what they see (I'm betting you both feel it). Pay attention and adjust.
Don't let the habits become a chain too strong to break.