Joy Phenix's Blog

“The compliment that helps us on our way is not the one that is shut up in the mind, but the one that is spoken out.” Mark Twain I was walking the dog to the bus stop, the kids had run ahead, and Billy turned to me and said, “I can’t believe I get to [...]

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” G.K. Chesterton Have you ever been overwhelmed by the thought of writing thank you notes? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big proponent of expressing gratitude and dropping people a quick note for gifts, encouragement, or [...]

The most common response to today’s repost has been, “duh!”   Apparently LOTS of couples pick ineffective times to have deep meaningful conversations.  Is that a temptation for you?  Have a quick refreshed read on the 10-to-10 Rule! ***REPOST*** For the last handful of years, Billy and I have mentored a couple of small groups for [...]

How do you find a blind spot? By definition, blinds spots are outside our view, but just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean we have to be ignorant of their existence. We just have to look carefully at our strengths, and we can get an idea. That’s not a typo. Look at your STRENGTHS [...]

Ben Affleck’s 2013 speech at the Oscars has caused a stir because he thanked his wife, Jennifer Garner, for “working on our marriage for 10 Christmases,” saying, “It is work, but it’s the best kind of work.” Apparently transparency, at least about marriage, isn’t “appropriate” in a speech where you are thanking your wife. Some [...]

“Newlyweds become Oldyweds, and Oldyweds are the reason families work.” – Unknown This year my in-laws celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, and today my parents hit #54. Wow!  Can you imagine doing anything for 54 years? When you’ve accomplished such a feat, you have authority and insights into marriage that the rest of us “newlyweds” [...]

Let’s face it: travel can be intimidating. Even when you KNOW where you want to go, the sheer volume of decisions can be overwhelming. Still, if you want to make time with your spouse a priority (and I think you should!), don’t get discouraged, get determined! If you don’t know where to begin to plan [...]

When I tell people Billy and I are sneaking away for a few days without the kids, I often get curious responses.  I hear comments like… I wish we could get away, but it’s the kids _____ (fill in the blank) season and they have games every weekend. Work is too crazy for me to [...]

If you sit at a desk or on a couch most days, are you REALLY surprised that you’re out of shape?  If you don’t talk to your coworkers, but stare at your computer all day, are you shocked you aren’t connected to people?  If you can’t say “no” to invitations, shouldn’t you expect to be [...]

One of our most strategic marriage decisions is emptying the dishwasher together. Seriously. Billy and I both dread this chore.  If we could avoid it forever, we would.  Alas, paper plates and dining out aren’t friendly to the environment or the wallet, so we tackle the challenge whenever needed. (I can hear your relief!) (Aside [...]