The restaurant reflects dishes from a very specific region in India.  To quote their website: “A departure from the typical Indian restaurant, Cardamom Hill highlights the cuisine of Kerala-a lush coastal state of South India rich in spices, coconut and seafood. Dishes like pork seasoned with vinegar, fish roasted in banana leaf and beef curry (a specialty of the Roman Catholic community) reflect the European and Asian influences that evolved from Kerala’s prominent position along the ancient spice routes. The restaurant is named after Kerala’s central mountainous region where spices grow along the slopes of vast plantations.”

First up, Duck & Plantain Croquettes … (not to be confused with this recreational lawn game).  Plantains are like goat cheese for me, they have the potential to improve almost any dish.  This was certainly no exception. That said, what sent this dish over the top for me what the sauce that includes dried figs.  I have no idea why chefs don’t use figs more with their meals, because that single ingredient makes the dish.  Figs need more of a platform than just in “Newtons.”

Next up was the Seasonal Salad.  This item changes frequently and didn’t look like anything I had imagined.   If you imagine a classic starter salad, you’ll be surprised too.  The dish is basically a sampling plate.  For us, the salad was fried plantains (can’t go wrong) and a mixed fruit and vegetable salad (with the lightest most flavorful dressing) with braised short rib in the middle.  I know the image below is sub-par, but the short rib in particular was perfect (also available as an entree).  The pulled meat had little fat and was far more flavorful than anything you’ll find at a barbecue place.  Plus, the serving size gave you enough for a taste without allowing over-indulgence!

For the entree, we walked into the restaurant with two strong tips; order the baked fish special and the fried chicken.  My foodie friend Hyunah had been talking about the fish non-stop and since it was a halibut AND served with Plantains I was all about it.  (3 out of 4 dishes had plantains for those of you keeping track – you can see why I was so happy!!)  The baked fish is different based on availability, but it comes with a sauce that has shallots, a mild curry, and cardamom that’s to die for.

If you check out Cardamom Hill online and read many reviews, it doesn’t take long to discover people raving about their fried chicken.  People write about the unusual flavor and what a great find the dish is.  I hate to be a naysayer, but the dish doesn’t live up to the hype.  Granted, the chicken DOES taste different than any other kind of fried chicken because of the unusual mix of spices, but it’s still fried chicken.  I am much more likely to relish the chicken from One Eared Stag with its “pot licker” au jus.  That said, I DID pick every last piece of fried Basil off of Billy’s plate.  (Note to self : learn how to fry basil)

We were thoroughly stuffed by the end of dinner and waved off the dessert menu.  However, the waiter brought us complimentary chi tea lattes because we had to wait a good while between appetizers and entrees.  On a date night, the extra time at the table isn’t a bad thing, but in general, if you want a quick and snappy meal, Caradmom Hill is a bit of a longer experience.

I am notoriously picky with my tea.  I love English/Irish breakfast tea, I abhor Earl Grey, and I am very picky about the type of chamomile I’ll drink.  I usually find chi tea to be to “peppery” for me, but I was OVER THE MOON about this little cup of goodness.

Deliciousness…

Happy dining friends!

Here’s what you’ll need.  Pizza dough (let it sit out for 30 minutes before rolling out), grated mozzarella cheese, pizza sauce (tomato or pesto), olive oil, and assorted toppings (mushrooms, pepperoni, ham, pineapple, veggies – anything you typically like on  your pizza.

If you're using anything fresh ingredients, such as mushrooms, be sure to cook them ahead of time. Grilled pizza cooks VERY quickly, so the heat on the grill won't do much more than heat/melt your toppings.  I love usually saute mushrooms.

While the mushrooms cook, divide the dough in half or thirds depending on how many different styles you want to make.

This is where I have the kids step up to kneed the dough out.

If you've ever watched the people in a real pizza shop "toss" the dough, they stretch out the dough by using the back of their fist.  This is extremely tricky to do, but that's half the fun.

Still, if this is too tough, bust out the rolling pin and roll away.  Don't worry about getting the perfect shape.  The more important piece is trying to get the disc with an even thickness.  (Still, that rarely happens in our home!)

Assemble your ingredients on a cookie sheet so that  you can take everything outside in one trip.

Make sure you preheat your grill, but turn down the flame before placing the dough on the grill.

Brush oil on one side of the dough and place on the grill (make sure you avoid the "puppy" attempt to intercept the food.)

Allow the dough to cook for 1-2 minutes, brushing oil over the top side of the dough.

You can tell that the dough is ready to flip when you see the dough bubbling up. (Notice the thinner parts cook faster.)

The dough should look crisp at this point.

Top your pizzas!  Start with brushing oil, then add your sauce and toppings.

After you have the sauce and toppings, then top with cheese and close the grill for 1-2 minutes.

If you're using any delicate ingredients, put those on the pizza at the last minute.

Remove from grill and place on a clean platter.

That's it!  From start to finish the grill time is maybe 7 minutes.  All of the "effort" is getting the ingredients together, but if you get the family or friends to do their part, you'll be amazed at how fast it all comes together.

Enjoy!

I promise you if you watch this video, you’ll feel like a rookie.

I found the design, the narrative, and the slight of hand strangely compelling and utterly mesmerizing – I loved this guy’s approach to “magic.”    The video is a perfect way to kick off your Friday!

iPod Magic – Deceptions from Marco Tempest on Vimeo.

What was your favorite trick?  I’d love to hear about it.

Have a great day!!

Pardon my surprise, but I didn’t realize how much I needed to change grow to do this job well.  I figured since I had my kids “later” in life, I had a better handle on my emotions and better control of my tongue…which would make parenting much easier.  How hard could it be?  I had good parents, I knew plenty of good parents, PLUS I was mature -  so I was ready, right?

I was wrong.

Parenting is like living life in front of a huge mirror with GIANT florescent light bulbs.  There’s nowhere to hide, and what I see of myself isn’t always pretty or presentable.  Parenting reflects every thing about me back at me: good, bad, and ugly.

Like most (all?) parents who have skills that are decidedly mixed (which mine are),  I’m learning valuable lessons along the way.  For instance, perhaps the most “practiced” lesson these days is improving my apologizing skills.  That makes sense.  Parenting has a steep learning curve, and any failings and shortcomings negatively impact others.  And, if you’re like me, there are many days when our kids deserve an apology for a “less than ideal” parenting move.

Oddly though, I find that most parents don’t apologize to kids very often.  I imagine the oversight happens for the same reasons that many bosses don’t recognize their shortcomings in front of those they lead.  Maybe it is pride, or a fear of losing power, or simple inattentiveness.  In any case, “I’m sorry” truly seem to be the hardest words. (Props to Elton).

I’m trying to apologize more to my kids these days.  Here’s a quick run-down of why.

Much of my parenting comes in the form of teaching and correcting my kids.

• “Don’t use that tone of voice.”
• “Is that a nice thing to say to your friend?”
• “Try asking for ____ again, with nice manners.”
• “Can you talk to her without sounding so angry?”

Billy tells a story about a mom who gets fed up listening to her kids arguing in the other room.  She snaps, barges into the  room and yells, at the top of her lungs, “I WILL NOT TOLERATE SCREAMING IN THIS HOUSE!!!”  In that moment, she is modeling exactly the opposite of what she is teaching.

That’s the kind of response I can relate to.

If I’m not careful, I fail to look at my own behavior through the same demanding standards that I place on my children.  When that happens, especially as my kids are growing older, they easily can see ME when I’m not demonstrating the same behavior I am asking of them.   Those are the moments where my kids learn the meaning of ” hypocritical.”  So, knowing that, I decided that I have to apologize when I’m out of line.  In doing so, I’ve learned a few things about why apologizing is a good thing.

1. Behavior Modeling –   A well-placed apology follows a moment when the WRONG behavior was modeled and counteracts it by demonstrating the RIGHT behavior.  If we want our kids to own their mistakes, we need to show them how we own OUR mistakes.  The best way to do that is to say, “I was wrong” when you are wrong!
2. Relationship Restoration -  One of the top complaints of teenagers (from our years of working in student ministry) is, “My parents think that they are ALWAYS right.”  Translation:  “My parents never admit when they are wrong or even might be wrong.”  While failing cause fractures in relationships, apologies bring healing. Saying, “I was wrong, will you forgive me?” is the start of any relationship restoration.
3. Demonstrating Humility & Vulnerability – It takes courage to admit to a child that you make mistakes.  If I’m supposed to be the “grown up,” doesn’t that mean that I should be perfect? I don’t like to admit my failures when I’m “in charge.”  This resistance to owning mistakes is called “pride.”  Pride creates gaps in relationships.  Apologies toss pride aside and allow the other person to see your failings clearly.  That’s a vulnerable position for the parent doing the apologizing because it puts the child in the position of saying, “I forgive you,” which is the next benefit.
4. Practicing Forgiveness – ‘Tis a bitter person who does not know how to forgive others.  If you want your children to learn how to forgive, you have to be willing to give them opportunities to practice.  That means that you need to ask them for forgiveness (as part of your apology) AND you need to demonstrate forgiveness when they learn to apologize to you.

The goal is to say, “I’m sorry” before, as those One Republic boys say,  “it’s too late to apologize.”

Some days you wake up and everything seems to be going your way; other days, not so much.  In fact, some days everything seems to be working against you.  I suspect that happens to you, because it happens to me and everyone I know.   Alexander, from the quote above, is one of my top five children’s characters because he just can’t catch a break and by golly he leans into his bad day!

I do that all the time, don’t you?

Think about it, even when you recognize that all of your problems are “First World” problems (a slow computer connection, a delayed flight, a salad with too much dressing), you just can’t seem to stop being annoyed.  Sure, you have enough food to eat, you can read, you have access to a computer, but you simply want all of the mechanics of life to JUST GET ALONG?!!

When that happens to me (and I succumb to a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day), I cave to the momentum of strained logistics and walk around put out by every one and every thing.  Oftentimes, in the midst of my meltdown, I gain enough clarity to see that I’m “standing on the ledge,” and I am cognizant enough to ask someone – ANYONE – to talk me off it.

However, there are other times when I simply take a deep breath and decide to step away from the ledge myself.  On those days I make a decision to change the course of my day myself.  Simply put, I just decide NOT to have a “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.”  It is a crash course in Attitude Adjustment 101.  I’ve found that certain triggers help make my descent from the ledge happen more easily.  So, here are a dozen things that help me change my “bad day” attitude and that may come in handy when you need to stay away from the ledge.

  1. Crank up the Music – can you be sad when you’re listening to Katy Perry, Country Music, The Rolling Stones?

 2. Exercise - I hear this helps.  I haven’t seen the inside of a gym in years, but I believe people who swear by this technique.  Maybe because when they leave the gym, the fresh air is so – eh – fresh?

 3. Cook – This is my preferred coping method for a bad day.  I like to swing through a Fresh Market for delicious ingredients, fire up the grill, and burn my cares away.  A nice glass of wine for the cook helps, but isn’t required!

 4. Clean- If your day has seemed to spin out of control, by all means, dump out the contents of the closet, trunk, or drawer and IMPOSE ORDER!

 5. Read a book - Books inevitably draw you into another world and take your mind into someone else’s bad day (not yours) – especially if you read something that would qualify for the Oprah Book Club.

6.   Avoid Magazines – Have you ever noticed how melancholy you feel after looking through a typical, supermarket-shelf women’s magazine?  When I read them I think “I’ll never be that skinny – I can’t afford those shoes – My house isn’t that neat – My fashion isn’t that hip.”  Magazines invite comparison and we’ve already covered how that’s a losing game.

7.  Avoid Shopping – I realize I may lose my “girl card” for saying this, but there’s NOTHING you’re going to buy that’s going to help in the long run.  So, do NOT spend your hard earned cash on buying something that you’ll forget about before the credit card statement arrives.  The arrival of that bill will only produce another bad day in your future.

8. Call an Encourager – This means placing a call to the person who knows you well and STILL BELIEVES IN YOU.  You know the type, right?  For me, I think of Sue, Kathy, Bobbi, Cathy, Amy, Jane, Kristen, Lindsay, most of the people I work with, lots of people from my church, and all of the people from my family.  If I REALLY need a shot in the arm, I have them on speed dial.  (That helps give Billy a break from the role of #1 encourager!!)  You should have your short list too.

9. Walk your dog (or your neighbor’s dog) – I know it’s a pain in the derriere to have a dog, but dang they are awesome when you’re feeling down.  If you don’t have a dog (or a cat, I suppose), see if you can borrow one for an extended game of fetch.  (Oh yeah, cats don’t fetch.)  You can solve A TON of the world’s problems with a game of fetch.  Not. Kidding.  “Go get it, boy!”

10. Go outside – (Note – If it’s a terrible day outside and you’re not dressed properly for the weather, skip to #11) – Sure, fresh air is great for the spirits, but I like to go outside to see if I can find any critters.  Strange, I know.  But if you spend even 30 seconds watching a bird hop in and out of a bush (and contemplate the accuracy of “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”) or an ant doing its thing, you’ll be surprised at the perspective it gives you.  Ferris was right.

11. Unplug – You don’t have to go crazy and swear off electronics for the next 180 days, but even a couple of hours away from your phone and computer can really help.   Remember, anything that happens online STAYS online, so it will be there when you get back.  This will also prevent you from whining about your bad day on some status or tweet and being a total downer to your otherwise happy friends.  When in doubt, log out.

12. Read a Children’s Book – The best “reset” of my day often comes at the end of the day as I read to my kids.   Even if you don’t have this duty, invest in a few books that give you a perspective on looking differently at life.  I’ve given ideas on this before (here and here), but if you only own ONE kids book, you can’t go wrong with Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

And, if all else falls, avoid places with ledges.  Good luck.  Go get ‘em.

For nine months, roughly corresponding to the school year, I mentor a group a women who are still early in their careers. I call it the “Beta” Group because there’s something inherently experimental in the process. Most of the curriculum I use I’m making up or piecing together from the people who’ve taught me. My favorite sources are Andy Stanley’s Leadership Podcast, TED Talks, and my husband (who is an amazing leader, but doesn’t have a link!). Much of the remaining material that we cover comes from lessons I’ve learned during the 25 years I’ve spent in Corporate America.

In the the process of “Teaching What I’ve Been Taught” (a phrase straight from one of Andy’s podcasts) to others, I’ve discovered the wisdom of the Annie Dillard quote above. As the years have racked up, I have accumulated a knowledge base that I believe I am entrusted to (aka, must) pass along to others. This knowledge is a gift that has been passed down to me by others. To keep it to myself and not give it away to another would, in fact, not only be selfish, but would also be destructive to its intended lifespan.

The more I teach the lessons I learn, the more I solidify the insights for others and for me. When someone asks a challenging question, I’m forced to state my rationale in concrete, logical terms. That helps the lessons improve. By addressing questions, I learn more. The process of teaching and learning becomes cyclical, and the growth for both the mentor and mentee builds on that momentum.

The principle of teaching others is simple, but the discipline of actually making that happen (figuring out WHO to teach, WHEN to teach, WHAT to teach) is the more challenging part. Admittedly, I don’t always move through life at the pace of a teacher. Often, I value efficiency more than investment. I want to do my thing and move on without bothering to explain myself. This has to change if I am ever going to pass along what someone else slowed down long enough to give to me.

Even amid my challenges to be a disciplined teacher, the Beta Group teaches me that the payback for investing in others returns much more than any time spent; that it would be a loss for me were it not to happen. Slowly, I’ve discovered the joy of teaching. Paying it forward isn’t about benevolence, but about promoting growth all around.

How do you invest in others? How can others learn from what you’ve learned?

Think about it, then let me know. Slow down and tell me about it. I would LOVE to be taught by you!

She’s always sporting the best shoes (a Tory Burch wedge with peep toes is my current favorite), a hip bag, and perfectly tasteful jewelry.  She has an air of self assurance that I appreciate and a fashion sense that consistently makes me think “Wow.”  It seems as if every time I share an elevator with her, I am sporting a few tea dribbles down the front of my shirt, wearing a busted heel (I blame my missing toe), and holding a tired, fraying Target bag.

In short, I feel like a frump when I stand next to her.

How can a person whom I’m around for just 30 seconds bring up this feeling in me?  What is it about her that sparks that?  Or what is it in me that makes me feel that way about her?  Why am I secretly hoping one day to find a hole in the back of her sweater or see her with a stain down the front of her shirt?  How does her “togetherness” in any way, shape, or form diminish me?

In a moment of clarity, I can see that this train of thought comes whenever I play the comparison game; in this instance with Ms. Fashion and in lots of settings in my life.

I frequently play this game in a business context when I beat myself up over not being able to “run numbers” in my head as well as some of my co-workers.  I can catch myself comparing  my kids to others in a strange competition about academics, behavior, or sports. ( As an FYI, and speaking of athletic competition, remember me writing about the anticipation of Field Day last week?  Yeah, well my sweet child threw up in the gym which killed the ribbon for “top athlete.”)  Oddly, I even make comparisons with my dog (who still jumps on visitors and sniffs where cold noses shouldn’t go!).  All in all, I find that the comparison game is a terribly destructive habit that leaves me with a less-than-desirable attitude.

Through it all, I’ve found this to be true:

In the comparison game, someone always wins and someone always loses. There are no ties.

This game is the ultimate lose-lose because even “winning” is destructive.  If you play the game from a position of strength you may “win” the comparison, but your prize is an inflated ego and false pride.  However, if you play the game from a position of weakness and “lose,” then you get “The Booby Prize” of insecurity and, in many cases, fear.

In fact, the only way you ultimately “win” is to opt out of the game entirely.  Opting out requires changing directions and choosing a new approach that is not only counter-intuitive, but also counter-cultural.  Here it is:

Instead of comparing yourself TO others, choose to celebrate the wins OF others.  

Odd and easier to say than do, I know, but hang with me.  Changing the game from comparison to celebration feels radical, but it’s worth it.  Celebration is a change in direction.  Think of it like a line moving from left to right, hitting a pivot point and making a quick turn heading up.  That is the kind of pivot that is needed to change games.

Let me give you some specific ideas of pivot points that turn the toxicity of comparison to the benefit of celebration:

• When someone’s input about a work project is stronger than yours and you feel competitive – PIVOT – praise that person and their insights and use their ideas as a jumping off point for the project’s next steps.
• When someone’s child is a brilliant student or athlete (or BOTH) and you want to either tear yours (or theirs) down with criticism – PIVOT – and compliment the parents or child for the achievement.
• When your neighbor constantly whines and complains to or about you – PIVOT – thank him for his insight and ask him for ideas on how to solve the problem.
• When someone succeeds and you resent them or they fail and you privately celebrate – PIVOT – and draw close to them to celebrate their success or help them after their failure.
• When you walk onto an elevator with a “familiar stranger” who, yet again, looks like a million bucks and makes you want to throw away your wardrobe – PIVOT – tell her how much you admire her taste in clothes and how great she looks.
• When you sit in a meeting where someone is struggling to get the crowd’s attention and energy – PIVOT – be the person to engage in the conversation and insert life into the discussion.

Whether you realize it or not, by making a different choice in these situations, not only will YOU feel better, you have the potential to make someone’s day.

These type of pivots are made by people with exceptional attitudes.  They don’t celebrate others failures or step on people to elevate themselves.

That’s how I want to roll.

In a practical sense, that means that celebration must always beat comparison, in the big and small the arenas of life.

Trust me.  It will make all of your elevator rides, field days, and life a LOT more enjoyable!

(Aside -  I have NO idea if they have availability for Supper Mother’s Day today, but it would be worth checking!)

The meal starts with a salad option that's served up individually.  The pecans were perfectly sweetened and crisp and the feta was like "butta."

There were three options for entrees, though among our group, we only picked two of the three.  I started with the fabulous brisket.  Slow-braised and in an au jus sauce that's to die for -- I'm going to have a hard time ordering anything different!

I only had a bite of the catfish, but Lindsay says it's among the best...