31 times you SHOULD say “Never!”

May 8, 2014

@play

WAY before Justin Bieber was born, people were given the advice to “never say never.”  This sounds like reasonable advice until you really think about it.  Sometimes you should ALWAYS say never.

In fact, I had some back and forth with friends about the “never rule” (which breaks its own premise!), and we came up with an impressive list for when saying “never” is absolutely the best course of action.

Buckle up, we’re going to hit them fast, but in no particular order!

1. Never eat cheap (or gas station) sushi.

2. Never wear lip gloss on a windy day.

3. Never hang the toilet paper so the roll falls toward the wall.

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4. Never skimp on quality jeans.

5. Never assume you won’t have twins just because they don’t run in your family.

6. Never eat yellow snow.

7. Never joke with government officials.

8. Never cook in heels.

9. Never skip the sunscreen (especially if the sun makes you sleepy!).

10. Never go barefoot around a horse.

Wow – we were just getting started…

11. Never skimp on running shoes.

12. Never shave your eyebrows.

13. Never trust tequila.

14. Never buy cheap tires.

15. Never see the movie before reading the book.

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16. Never plan on keeping white clothes white for any length of time.

17. Never think, “_____ can’t happen to me.”

18. Never bike with your kilt open. (One of my friends lives in the UK, so I trust that she is correct on this point!)

19. Never buy a flimsy bra.

20. Never call your cell phone, cable, or utility company when you’re having a good day.

OK – This “never say never” thing is going down in flames!!

21. Never “dabble” in electrical repairs.

22. Never agree to having Mexican food on a first date.

23. Never tell a pregnant any woman she has man hands.

24. Never plan on a speedy rental car process.

25. Never sit with your back to a camera during a conference call.

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26. Never underestimate the impact of fresh flowers as a gift.

27. Never move homes when you and your spouse are pregnant.

28. Never lie or fudge facts on your résumé or LinkedIn.

29. Never cheat on your taxes or your expense report.

30. Never play Pictionary with an architect.

And, of course, the bonus # 31 – NEVER, EVER, E-V-E-R, ask a woman when she’s “due.” (You wouldn’t do that, right?).

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What am I missing?  What are your “nevers?”

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4 Responses to “31 times you SHOULD say “Never!””

  1. Your Husband Says:

    What if playing Pictionary with an architect lands you a husband? ;)

    Reply

    • Joy Phenix Says:

      If your goal is romance then yes, play with an architect. If your goal is winning at pictionary, the “never” still applies!
      For the record, it was worth losing the game : )

      Reply

  2. Mark Allman Says:

    Never fake listening
    Never assume your expectations are known
    Never use your position to make a point
    Never turn down the opportunity to stand in the gap to help someone

    Reply

  3. Michael Says:

    Never eat at a place that has a chocolate fountain.

    Reply

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